


Armitage Hux can hold one hell of a grudge

by radioactivesaltghoul



Series: The First Order Anniversary Party Saga [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kidnapping, Mild Smut, Reylo - Freeform, angstier than originally planned, nobody ships reylo harder than the force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 21:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13373175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: Rey’s jaw dropped.“Rey? What is it? I can’t see your surroundings,” Ben said, sounding a little worried.“You’re that ginger guy,” Rey gasped. “The one that B--Kylo Ren hates so much.”“You’ve been kidnapped by Hux?” yelled Ben as the man in front of Rey said “I am Armitage Hux, the true leader of the First Order.”It’s been a year since the night of the First Order Anniversary Party. Ben has been working to bring the First Order back under his control so that he can change it for the better, while Rey has been lying low with the Resistance. But when Hux suddenly surfaces after a year of hiding with the remnants of the First Order civil war to kidnap Rey, all of his feelings and motivations come out as Rey is dragged into Hux’s and Ben’s rivalry.





	Armitage Hux can hold one hell of a grudge

**Author's Note:**

> They totally have [tardigrades](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade) in Star Wars.
> 
> This got real angsty real fast. Definitely angstier than intended, and angstier than the prequel.

Force motherkriffing _dammit._

Rey woke up with a groan. She definitely wasn’t in the same place she had fallen asleep in. Which wasn’t all that uncommon, given the Force bond’s tendency to dump her in Ben’s bed every once in a while without prompting. She always hated how much she loved when that happened. She had never thought that she’d be the type of person who enjoyed waking up in someone else’s arms, but Ben had turned her into that type of person, and her mornings were always colder when she woke up alone, no matter what season it was or climate she was in.

But this wasn’t her bed, and it wasn’t Ben’s bed. It wasn’t anyone’s bed. She appeared to be in some sort of holding cell. Handcuffed. To the wall.

“Ben!” she shouted. “Ben, if this is a joke, I am going to _murder_ you!” Trust Ben to be so dramatic as to kidnap her and leave her in handcuffs. Although...this didn’t feel like him. If either of them was going to be in handcuffs, it was going to be him. He’d never admit it, but he much preferred it when she took charge. Just one of the many things they were able to communicate without actually having to say anything aloud, thanks to the Force bond.

She didn’t get a response, so she tried to reach out with the Force. She didn’t sense Ben nearby. A pit of dread started to grow in her stomach. If this wasn’t some stupid prank of Ben’s, then what was it? Who would want to kidnap her?

When Ben dragged Rey to be his date to some huge First Order party last year, two big things had happened that night. The first was that Rey witnessed the start of the decline of the First Order as Hux tried to pull a mutiny on Ben’s leadership as Kylo Ren. It had backfired, though; Hux underestimated the number of people who were loyal to him, and he had fled. Since then, the Resistance had mostly been lying low, waiting for the ashes to clear from the First Order’s implosion. The majority of the First Order had come back under Ben’s rule within a few weeks after the First Order Anniversary Party, but there were still a decent number of factions that were rebelling. The most troubling part, Ben had told Rey, was that Hux was still MIA. Ben had no idea if Hux was even still alive, although he’d also said “Hux is like a tardigrade; he’d survive being dumped in space even without the use of the Force to guide him back to his ship.”

The second big thing that had happened that night was...well, Rey and Ben had finally given in to something that the Force had been trying to make happen since the bond had formed. Five times, in fact. And even though they had never quite managed to replicate that--the ForceTime session always seemed to cut out at inopportune moments--they’d still found a way to get off together. It was fun to tease each other when they knew the other wasn’t able to sneak off and join, but it nearly always turned into a ‘watching each other get off from across their weird psychic bond’ thing.

“Hello?” she called out. She tugged at the handcuffs. They were stuck fast, but surely there was something she could do with the Force… Rey closed her eyes and entered a meditative state so that she could use her Force senses to look around. Astral projection was still something she couldn’t manage, but she could use some sense to poke around at what was holding her to the wall.

_Almost...there…_ Rey cursed as she realized that she’d never seen the type of bindings that were being used to hold her before. No matter. It would just take her longer to escape, if she had to figure the bindings out.

She was so busy trying to mentally look at the different components of the handcuffs that she didn’t even notice Ben materializing in front of her until he said “What the hell, Rey?”

Her eyes snapped open. Surprisingly (and a little disappointingly), he was wearing a shirt for once when he materialized over the Force bond. “You didn’t have anything to do with this?” she asked, her heart sinking.

“No. No one under my command would do this. They have orders to bring you directly to me if you ever happen to wander onto my ship.”

Rey rolled her eyes. They’d had this discussion before. He wanted her to come spend time together in person, and not just across the Force bond. She always said that politically, they just weren’t ready for that level of commitment. That was true, but a little part of her also worried that if they were reunited, she wouldn’t be able to leave again, and she was _not_ going to commit herself to life in the First Order, even if it _was_ changing for the better.

“Well if you didn’t do it, who did? It looks like what I imagine the jail cells on a First Order ship would look like.”

“Have you spent a lot of time wondering what our jail cells look like?” he said, interested.

Rey rolled her eyes as she realized where his thoughts were going. “Not like that, you idiot.”

He flashed a quick grin, but then he grew serious again. “This wasn’t any of my people,” he said.

“Then who is it?” Rey groaned. “I don’t have time for this. I have a meeting to get to.” The last thing she remembered was stopping at that diner on Delrian to refuel her ship, and then she ordered a cup of coffee, and then...nothing.

“You’re in the Delrian system?” Ben said, reading her thoughts.

“Stay out of my head,” she said automatically, even though she was secretly happy to have any help she could get.

“We don’t have any ships or outposts there, but I can come find you,” he said.

“Wait,” Rey said. “You don’t know what’s out here. You don’t know _who_ is out here. We might not even be anywhere near Delrian. Don’t rush into this.”

She could tell that he was itching to destroy a holoscreen or a supply closet or something out of frustration, but he was holding back. That was good. They had been working on taming his temper. The meditation was really starting to help, and it had the added benefit of sometimes turning into a ForceTime sex session.

“I can’t just sit here and let you get kidnapped,” he snapped.

“I can’t just let you run in and die,” she snapped back.

He sighed and closed his eyes. She sensed that he was reaching out with the Force to try to figure out where she was. She wasn’t sure if it was possible. She’d never tried to find his location that way, and she hoped that he had never tried, either. It was one thing to wake up in his bed once in a while, psychically pulled from parsecs away. It was a completely different one to realize that he was able to stalk her.

He opened his eyes. “I can’t sense where you are,” he growled.

“Has that ever worked?”

He didn’t respond.

She was so busy trying to figure out the best way to say _How often have you tried to stalk me with the Force?_ and _Please never do that again, you creep_ that she didn’t even register the arrival of someone else until he was opening the door.

Rey’s jaw dropped.

“Rey? What is it? I can’t see your surroundings,” Ben said, sounding a little worried.

“You’re that ginger guy,” Rey gasped. “The one that B--Kylo Ren hates so much.”

“You’ve been kidnapped by _Hux_?” yelled Ben as the man in front of Rey said “I am Armitage Hux, the true leader of the First Order.”

Ben continued to shout obscenities, even though Hux wasn’t able to see or hear him. Rey didn’t know how long the bond would hold, especially with Ben’s feelings scrambling all over the place. Mostly worry for her and anger at Hux, but there was also a weird sense of jealousy. Rey couldn’t tell if he was jealous that Rey was with Hux, or that he wasn’t there to rub it in Hux’s face. She’d always suspected that the tension between them was a little more than your run-of-the-mill “competing for leadership of a massive galactic organization,” but Ben had always been rather tight-lipped about their relationship.

“What do you want from me?” Rey asked as calmly as possible. It was difficult to stay calm with the barrage of emotions she was getting from Ben, but she didn’t want to give Hux any indication that she was even remotely bothered by this situation.

He didn’t answer her, but he walked over and checked the handcuffs. Ben was still there, watching where Rey’s eyes focused and glaring at the place where he assumed that that was where Hux was.

“I swear to Force, I will kill that little ginger--” Ben hissed. Even though he couldn’t actually see Hux, Rey knew that he could tell that she felt like Hux was standing way too close to her.

“Where are we?” Rey asked.

“In a galaxy far, far away,” Hux replied as he made a show of double-checking the cuff.

“Can you be a little more specific?” Maybe, if he could give her something--a system or the name of whatever starship they were on--she could get it to Ben before the connection broke, and he could help her.

“We’re on a starship near the Kathol sector,” said Hux, “but knowing that won’t help you now. I’ve disabled the comms on your ship, so you won’t be able to reach out to your Resistance allies, nor will you be able to reach out to _Kylo Ren._ ” There was something about the way that he said Ben’s name that cause Rey to raise an eyebrow.

“Why are we near the Kathol sector?” Rey asked, trying to make sure Ben had heard that. She saw him nod, and she sent a sliver of gratitude down the bond. She was lucky that the bond had held out to that far, and she found herself wishing that Ben could stick around for company while Hux did...whatever it was he planned to do to her while she was stuck there.

“Never you mind that,” Hux said with a smirk.

“So if you’re not going to tell me why you kidnapped me or why we’re here, then what’s the point of all of this?” _This guy is such a dick,_ she thought.

“Tell me about it,” muttered Ben. “I have not missed having Hux around.” There it was again, that same weird flutter of something else. What was Ben jealous of?

“No reason, really. I’m definitely not trying to get Ren’s attention by kidnapping his girlfriend. Not at all.”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” Rey said before the rest of Hux’s statement hit her.

“You’re not who’s girlfriend?” Ben said, just before the connection broke. “Rey?” And then he was gone, and Rey was left alone again with Hux.

“I am pretty sure he thinks you’re his girlfriend,” said Hux, scowling. “He’s obsessed with you.”

Rey felt her face heat up. Obsessed? She knew that Ben wanted her by his side, but...obsessed? When Hux put it like that, it made Rey significantly more uncomfortable about her relationship (or non-relationship) with Ben.

“Why do you care so much, anyway?” she asked. “What’s it to you if I’m his girlfriend or not?”

“I don’t,” Hux said in a tone that indicated that he most definitely did care. “I am definitely not going to hold you hostage while I send him a message telling him to step down or you die.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Can’t you two give it a rest?” she said. “It’s like you’re using the entire First Order army just to wage whatever stupid dick-waving contest you have.”

“We do _not_ have a, as you put it, ‘stupid dick-waving contest,’” Hux hissed as his face turned bright red.

“You do and you know it, and Be--Kylo Ren knows it, and I have no idea why you’re dragging me into it,” spat Rey.

“You’re in it because he brought you to the First Order Anniversary Party!” Hux yelled.

Rey stared at him. “Are you _kriffing_ kidding me?” she said. “You can’t possibly be that petty.”

Hux didn’t reply, but his face turned even redder, if that was possible.

“You are that petty,” Rey said with a groan. “Oh my stars, you two are the _worst._ Why do you care so much, anyway? It’s almost like you’re jealous of me, or something.” Rey said the words before her brain could catch up to what was coming out of her mouth, but as soon as she said them, it clicked. “You _are_ jealous,” she said.

“Shut up,” said Hux. “No I’m not.”

“You are,” Rey said. “You totally are.”

“Shut up!” shouted Hux. “Kriff off, scavenger.”

“You can’t tell me to kriff off. I am literally handcuffed to the wall.” She tugged on the handcuffs for emphasis, but they were on so tight that it didn’t do anything other than bruise her wrists.

“Fine!” Hux turned to leave in a huff. “Rot in here for all I care.”

“It’s not my fault Kylo wanted to get into my pants more than he wanted to get into yours!” Rey yelled after him as he left.

  

* * *

 

 

Immediately after the ForceTime session with Rey dropped, Ben slammed his fist into the closest control panel in anger. He knew that he’d promised Rey that he’d stop doing that, but this was an extenuating circumstance. 

Hux kidnapped Rey just to get back at him. But why? Well, aside from the obvious part where Hux hadn’t given up on taking over the First Order. But why bring Rey into it? What did he have against her?

There was a weird vibe he’d always gotten from Hux. Yes, they hated each other, but something about it always felt a little too personal for comfort. And then there was that one time they got drunk together and Hux had put his hand on Ben’s thigh…that was probably the weirdest night in Ben’s entire life, and that was including the fateful night that Hux pulled a mutiny and then Ben and Rey had finally banged. (Multiple times. All night long.)

Well, okay. There was that night that his uncle had tried to kill him. That was pretty weird, too. But he never let himself think about that. It brought up past trauma that he wasn’t ready to work through, even though his therapist kept saying that he’d have to talk about it eventually.

And there was that last thing that Rey had said before the Force bond cut out… _I’m not his girlfriend._ Who were they talking about? It couldn’t have been him. He and Rey were together. That made her his girlfriend. Right?

Ben shook his head. There wasn’t time to think about that now. Right now, he had to find them. He took off for the navigation control room, barely able to keep from sprinting out there. That was another thing that he was trying to work on: fewer snap judgments based on spikes in emotion. But how was he supposed to keep calm when Hux had kriffing kidnapped Rey?

“Plot a course for the Kathol sector,” he demanded as soon as he burst into the navigation room. He thought he saw a couple of techs watching dirty holovids out of the corner of his eye, but he was too focused on finding Hux’s ship to give a shit about some techs watching porn while on the clock.

“Sir?” one of them said.

“You heard me,” he said. “Get us there as soon as possible. And fire up the guns. We may be flying into enemy territory.”

“There’s no way the Resistance could have gathered enough firepower to threaten us,” the technician said.

“This isn’t the Resistance,” growled Ben. “It’s Hux.”

  

* * *

 

 

After Hux left in a huff, Rey was left to contemplate her life. This was a weird and inconvenient turn of events. Even though Hux was no doubt trying to taunt him into a fight by sending him a ransom message, Ben would have the upper hand by already knowing what Hux’s plan was. However, she was still pretty screwed without the Resistance knowing where she was, and she doubted that Ben would think to try to send them an anonymous tip of some sort. His hyperfocus could be great in bed, but it wasn’t always a great quality outside of that.

She sighed. The only thing left to do right now was to meditate again. Maybe she would magically be able to connect to some Force ghost who had the ability to remove handcuffs. That would be ideal. It wasn’t realistic to hope for a Force ghost’s help, though. As many times as she’d tried to call on Master Luke (or any other Jedi masters) for help and training, she hadn’t gotten anywhere. She didn’t know if it was the result of her lacking that skill, or if they just didn’t want to talk to her. It truly did make her feel like the last Jedi.

It was, however, realistic to try to use her own Force skills to pick the lock. She’d always had an affinity for machines, and she’d taken to working as a mechanic for the Resistance when she wasn’t busy being their resident Force user. One of the reasons why she was so good at it was that she had an instinctual way to figure out how things fit together and how to fix something that was broken.

It took nearly two hours, but she finally cracked the combination on the lock. She fell to the floor as it released and sighed before sitting back and shaking her arms out. Her wrists were sore, and she could already see the bruises that had formed there.

Force, she was tired. She still felt a little groggy from whatever Hux had used to knock her out. She didn’t know if or when he was coming back, but it wouldn’t be for a while. Not until he got through to Ben to taunt him.

 

* * *

 

It only took Hux an hour and a half to send a ransom message. By that time, Ben’s ship was nearly at the Kathol sector, and it had all of its search beacons and sensors on to search for a renegade First Order ship. Ben and the other commanding officers on board figured that that was most likely to be what Hux would have. A few ships from their fleet had never been recovered, and no one had been able to figure out if that was because they had crash landed onto uninhabited planets, or if it was because they were hiding out, biding their time. 

“Ren,” the message said. Hux’s face popped up, giving a triumphant grin. “Long time no see.”

“What do you want, Hux?” Ren said, trying to sound as bored as possible in order to piss Hux off. By the look on Hux’s face when he failed to rile Ben up, it was working.

“I have something that you want.”

“The rest of my fleet?”

Hux scowled. “It’s _my_ fleet, actually, but that’s not what I have.”

“Then what, Hux? I don’t have all day.” It was a credit to the meditation and therapy that Ben had been doing that allowed him to feign boredom and act like Hux hadn’t taken the person he valued the most in the entire galaxy. He figured that it was safer for Rey if Hux didn’t know about their bond, and it was better strategy to catch him unaware.

“Your little half-cooked Jedi friend,” Hux said. He turned the camera to look at a holoscreen that was showing a video of Rey in the cell. She didn’t appear to be struggling against her bonds, but Ben knew that she was actually deep in meditation. She was resourceful, and strong with the Force. She’d get her way out of those handcuffs.

But he couldn’t just let Hux get away with that taunt. “If you’ve hurt her, Hux, I swear to Force, I’ll--”

“You’ll do what?” Hux said, turning the camera back to his smug face. “Kill me? You’ve tried that, Ren, and it didn’t work. And guess what? I’ve been waiting. I haven’t been hiding here passively. I’ve been building up. And we are going to _take you down_.”

“Why are you doing this, Hux?” Ben said, trying to stall him while his communication techs tried to get a lock on where the communication signal was coming from. “What’s in it for you? Surely you can’t want to be Supreme Leader all that badly.” He knew it was an empty taunt--of course Hux wanted to be Supreme Leader; who wouldn’t want to be the most powerful person in the galaxy?--but he wanted to know why Hux was going to the trouble of kidnapping Rey.

“Because,” said Hux slowly, “as I have told you multiple times now, you brought a better date to the First Order Anniversary Party than me.”

The control room went silent. Ben could practically hear all of the commanders and techs thinking _Seriously? Is he for real?_

“Hurry up, Ren,” Hux said sweetly. “I’m not in a patient mood.” With that, he cut the link.

No one spoke a word in Ben’s control room for a minute. Then Ben shouted, “What are you idiots doing? Did anyone get a lock on his ship?”

“We just barely managed to get a lock on it, Supreme Leader,” one of the techs responded. “You were right. It is a renegade First Order ship. At the last count, it had a capacity of three thousand people, but it was only holding about a tenth of that. We should be arriving in about ten minutes.”

Ben nodded. “Good,” he said as he turned to leave. “Be ready to attack when we arrive, but do not attack yet.”

“Sir?”

“Nobody is to touch that ship until I get Rey,” he growled. “Is that clear?”

They fell over each other to agree, then Ben left the room. He had to prepare for battle, and he had to make sure he was wearing the perfect outfit for when he saw Rey again. Preferably something that wasn’t too difficult to take off. He was making some assumptions there, but he figured they were safe assumptions to make, given what had happened the last time they’d spent time together in person.

 

* * *

 

Rey spared a couple of moments to stretch before attempting to break out of the cell. She noticed with glee that Hux had been stupid enough to leave her lightsaber clipped to her belt. She wasn’t sure if it was oversight on his part, or if he was just that overconfident that he could take her down. Sure, he’d managed to ambush her by spiking her coffee, but that was stupidity on her part. She was never drinking shitty Delrian diner coffee again. 

Breaking out of the cell was stupidly easy. Clearly, these cells had not been designed with a Force-user in mind. It was just a manner of wiggling her fingers and a push with the Force and the door popped open. Rey grinned. They were making this way too easy for her. She was almost insulted.

She paused before going out into the hallway to see if she could reach out for Ben. She tried tapping on the mental walls that he had, but she couldn’t quite reach him. Despite the amount of time they’d both spent trying to figure out how to control the bond, they hadn’t gotten any better at it, and half of her attempts at contact just bounced off back at her. Damn. She hoped that he was on his way with backup, but since she had no way to know for sure, she was just going to have to leave the cell and hope for the best.

She couldn’t see or sense anyone in the hall outside of the cell, but she knew that once she left, she’d be in trouble. She had no idea how to navigate this kind of ship, and she didn’t know how many people were on it. It was one thing to take out a few stormtroopers, especially when she had a weapon. It was something completely different to have to take on a whole army by herself. Hell, she didn’t even know how big the ship was. She could be wandering around for days and still not find the hangar.

Was it possible to use the Force to try to figure out where to go? Rey closed her eyes and tried to focus on the hallway outside of her cell. There were only two ways to go there: left and right. And...nothing. The Force couldn’t help her out with this. She was on her own.

Rey left the cell, turning left at random. She kept an eye out for any signs indicating what direction she should go in, and she kept her ears open for the sound of anyone approaching. But it was surprisingly quiet on the ship. Something wasn’t right.

She couldn’t let that stop her, though; it just meant that she’d have to be more vigilant. She’d find the hangar at some point. How hard could it be to hide a massive hangar, even on a starship?

 

* * *

 

 

Hux was even stupider than Ben remembered. Ben’s starship stopped just out of range of the renegade First Order ship that Hux was on, and Ben took his personal shuttle to sneak onto Hux’s stolen ship. Hux hadn’t changed the access codes, because Ben didn’t have any problem entering or landing. He just walked in like he owned the place (which, technically, he did; it was one of Ben’s ships, after all).

From there, it wasn’t too difficult to find Hux. Ben knew Hux well enough that he knew that Hux would be in the command room, giving orders. He doubted that Hux was expecting him so soon. It was a combination of good luck that the Force bond had kicked in when it had and that his ship hadn’t been too far away from the Kathol sector to begin with.

It was incredibly satisfying to burst into the command room and yell “Hux, you asshat! Where’s Rey?” Sure, they weren’t the most imposing or original words, but Ben didn’t have time to mess around. Not when Rey was in danger.

Hux jumped, but he recovered quickly. “Ah, Ren,” he said smoothly. “So glad you could join us.”

“Where. Is. Rey,” Ben growled, fingers twitching. He had to remind himself not to go straight to Force choking. It was important that he listen to what other people had to say _before_ he started choking them, his therapist had said. But damn, it was just _so tempting_.

Hux smirked. “What, no ‘hello, old friend’?”

“We were never friends, Hux,” said Ben.

“We weren’t enemies, either.”

“So? Where are you going with this?”

Hux shrugged. Ben started to realize that Hux didn’t have a plan. Whether that was because Ben rushed in too soon or because he didn’t have a plan to begin with, he didn’t know.

“Are you going to try to kill me?” Ben asked in as bored a tone as he could muster. “Because if so, I have to tell you, I don’t have time--”

“Oh, I don’t want to kill you,” said Hux. “Yet. I want to kill your little Jedi friend, and I want you to watch.”

Ben felt his face flush as his rage built at the thought of Rey being hurt. “I will ask you one more time,” he said through gritted teeth. “Where. The kriff. Is Rey.”

Hux reached over to push a button. The image of an empty cell popped up on the holoscreen.

“What are we looking at, Hux?” asked Ben.

“I don’t believe it,” Hux said. “She’s gone. How did she get out? I had her handcuffed in there!”

Ben’s heart started pounding as he realized what this meant. “She escaped!” he said, grinning.

“She can’t have gotten far,” hissed Hux. “I’ll find her. Just you wait.” He stomped out of the control room. Ben assumed that Hux was planning on searching through security footage until he found her, but he didn’t have to wait that long. Ben closed his eyes and reached out with the Force to look for Rey. It was much easier to find her when they were on the same ship than it was to find her from three systems away. Not that he’d ever tell Rey, but he liked trying to keep track of how physically close she was based on how easy it was to reach out to her.

He searched up and down, trying to seek her out. And then-- _There. Near the hangar._ He smiled. _That’s my Jedi,_ he thought. _Breaks out of prison, then goes straight for the hangar to escape._ He took off running, praying that Hux hadn’t figured it out yet. It would be perfect if he could appear just in time to sweet Rey off her feet and take her away, then he could blow the shit out of Hux’s ship from a safe distance away.

 

* * *

 

Rey had no idea how she had gotten as far as she had without running into people. Either Hux had greatly over exaggerated the number of people who were under his command, or everyone was on vacation this week. She didn’t care what the reason was; she just wanted to get the kriff out of there. 

_Thank Force there are signs everywhere_ she thought as she passed a sign saying ‘HANGAR 40m AHEAD.’ _Almost there!_ But then she sensed something. A presence nearby. A very specific presence that she hadn’t encountered in person in a year.

“Ben?” she called out as she rounded the corner into the hangar.

“Rey!” he shouted. She looked up. He was on a platform about ten meters above her. “I’m here to save you!”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re so dramatic,” she said, although she couldn’t keep a relieved grin from her face. Seeing him in-person for the first time in a year was making her heart pound in a way that had nothing to do with the fact that she was trying to escape a deranged kidnapper’s clutches.

Just as Ben was preparing to jump down (using a dramatic Force jump, because of course he was), another door in the hangar opened up and Hux ran out, holding a blaster in Rey’s direction. He was immediately followed by stormtroopers bursting out of every door in the hangar. _Where the hell have they all been?_ she wondered. _Guess the ship isn’t as empty as I thought._

_I think it’s supposed to be a trap,_ Ben said to her down the bond. She jumped. Proximity must have made it easier to open up the bond. Either that, or the Force just liked to mess with them and gave absolutely no pattern as to when it allowed them to communicate telepathically.

_What kind of trap? What was your rescue plan?_ she asked.

Before Ben could answer, Hux said “Not so fast!”

Rey rolled her eyes again. “Could you _be_ any more cliche?” she asked.

“Going somewhere?” Hux responded.

Rey sighed. “What do they teach you in First Order command school? Why do you guys have to be so damn overdramatic?”

“I am _not_ overdramatic,” Hux and Ben said in unison. They turned to glare at each other. Rey saw some of the stormtroopers exchange glances and shrug out of the corner of her eye.

“You kidnapped my girlfriend!” Ben shouted at Hux.

Before Rey could interject and remind them that technically she wasn’t Ben’s girlfriend due to their political differences, Hux shouted, “You brought her to the First Order Anniversary Party when you could have brought me!”

There was complete silence in the room. Rey thought for a second that Ben had Force-frozen everyone, but then she realized that they were all just completely stunned by Hux’s confession.

“You...you never said anything,” Ben said slowly. “I had no idea.” A barrage of emotions started barreling down the bond at Rey. Confusion, mostly, but also a little bit of hurt.

_Really?_ she asked him. _You’re hurt by this?_ She didn’t mean it in a judgmental way; she was really surprised that Ben cared that much about Hux. _Well, this explains all the stupid dick-waving,_ she thought. _Potentially literal dick-waving._

_Shut up,_ Ben said. _It’s not like that._

“Well,” said Hux, turning bright red, “things have always been so complicated. I didn’t know if you were interested in men. You always act like you hate everyone, regardless of gender. It’s hard to tell.”

“I don’t hate Rey,” Ben said quickly.

_That was probably not the right thing to say,_ Rey thought. _Even if it is true._

“Rey,” hissed Hux. “And then you found that Force-damned _scavenger_ , and it was all about her. It was like I didn’t even matter to you anymore!”

 

* * *

 

 

This was definitely not a conversation to be had in front of an audience. It was especially a conversation not to be had in front of an audience of hundreds of stormtroopers that reported to them, and it was especially _especially_ not a conversation to be had in front of the woman they were arguing about. But now that the conversation had started, it was a little difficult to say ‘stop, let’s go somewhere private and deal with this.’

_Hux_ was into him? What the kriff? How had he managed to miss _that_?

“But why didn’t you say anything?” he asked. That was what really got him. “What right do you have to be pissed off at _me_ when you never said anything to me?”

“I did!” said Hux. “I tried, anyway. That one time.”

_What one time?_ Rey asked, sounding amused.

“That time we got drunk and watched old Death Star footage?” And then it clicked. Oh, so _that’s_ \--

He heard something that sounded like Rey choking back laughter. _You got drunk and snuggled with Hux on the couch?_

_Shut up,_ he said. _It was a confusing time for me. Snoke kept telling me I was trash and I needed to kill you._

“Yes, that!” Hux shouted. “I thought we had that in common. I mean, how hot is that stuff?”

Rey was barely able to keep her laughter contained. Ben hoped that Hux was too fixated on yelling at him to notice what Rey was doing. Not to mention the hundreds of stormtroopers in attendance, all of whom were currently emitting a sense of ‘what the kriff did I sign up for’ combined with ‘I don’t get paid enough for this shit.’

“There’s a big difference between you and me, Hux,” said Ben. “Well, many differences. The relevant one right now is _I don’t get off on genocide!_ ” He tensed, ready to jump down between Rey and Hux, but then Hux remembered who his real target was meant to be and snapped his attention back to Rey. Despite Ben shouting “Leave her alone! She had nothing to do with this!” and adding pleas for Rey to stop laughing, Hux just let out a wordless yell and shot the blaster at Rey.

“No!” Ben shouted. Time slowed down. He saw Rey reach for her lightsaber, but he was worried that it would be too late. He leapt from the platform he was on, lighting up his lightsaber as he fell. Even though he used the Force to help cushion the fall, he landed badly on one of his feet, and he felt his ankle roll under him. No time to worry about that now, though. _Must save Rey._

“I don’t need to be saved,” she said as she pulled out her own lightsaber to deflect the sudden barrage of laser blasts that Hux was sending her way.

It was a struggle to not give in to the urge to Force-freeze everyone in the room so that he could grab Rey and kiss her in a very overdramatic-yet-romantic manner, but she sensed where his mind was going and told him to shut it down. _Later,_ she promised as she and Ben fell into a fighting stance. _Plenty of time for that later._

“What are you idiots waiting for?” Hux shouted to the stormtroopers gathered around them. “Attack them!”

Ben and Rey braced for an attack, but only a handful of stormtroopers made any effort to move. Most them still seemed to be in some state of shock over the whole situation.

Hux turned around to scream at the room, “What the kriff are you doing? What do I pay you for? Listen to me and _attack them,_ dammit!”

A couple of the higher ranking stormtroopers exchanged glances. “Actually,” one of them said. “You don’t pay us at all. You don’t control the First Order payroll. Our faction is nearly out of money. We were going to take today to protest unfair working conditions, actually, but then you decided to start a fight, and we just wanted to come see how it played out.”

Ben was standing so close to Rey that he could hear her shaking as she tried to hold back her laughter. He reached down to grab her hand and squeezed, hard.

“Ouch,” she hissed.

_Stop laughing,_ he said. _This isn’t funny._ How did she have the ability to laugh when her life was at risk?

_When you grow up a scavenger in Jakku, your life is always at risk. Learning to laugh is the only way I stayed sane._

Ben felt his heart break as he thought about her words. She was brought up as a nobody living on a star-forsaken rock they had the nerve to call a planet, and he…

_Don’t go there,_ Rey said, although she had stopped laughing. _Not right now. Let’s just get the kriff out of here and then we can think about everything else._

“Unfair...what?” said Hux. “What are you talking about?”

“We were making a fair wage under Snoke,” the stormtrooper said. “And we’ve heard rumors that the stormtroopers on the other side of the First Order split--”

“This is the _true First Order_!” Hux screeched.

“--have actually received pay raises under Kylo Ren’s leadership, _and_ senior members of the First Order now have actual vacation time.”

_I didn’t know that,_ Rey thought.

_I told you,_ Ben said. _I want to make the First Order better._

“We deserve better pay,” another stormtrooper said. “We’ve formed a union, and we’re going on strike until you comply with our demands.”

“If you can’t make those promises,” another stormtrooper said, “We’re prepared to leave right now and join up with Kylo Ren’s First Order.” She turned and waved at where Ben and Rey were standing. Ben didn’t wave back. One hand was holding his lightsaber, and the other was still holding Rey’s.

“Are you _kriffing_ kidding me?” Hux screeched. “Of all days for you morons to go on strike, you choose _today_?”

“Well, we didn’t know what you were up to, sir,” one of the stormtroopers said.

Ben could feel the panic and fury rolling off of Hux like waves. He had never seen Hux so unhinged. And this included that time that they got drunk together and Hux had apparently tried to make a move on him. Ben still couldn’t believe that all of that had gone over his head.

It did, however, explain some of the tension there was between them. He supposed he shouldn’t have been so surprised that he’d completely missed some sexual tension in his life. It wasn’t like he’d ever had any experience with it until Rey, and whatever he’d almost-maybe-had with Hux couldn’t even come near what he had with Rey. Nothing he ever felt for anyone else could or would ever do that.

“Give it up, Hux,” Ben said, trying to take Hux’s attention off of the stormtroopers before he started shooting them. “You’re done. You can’t promise to pay your troops a fair wage. I can. And you’re _not_ killing Rey. She--”

“--can take care of herself,” Rey said, giving Ben a nudge.

“She can take care of herself, but I still have every right to beat your ass down for hurting her.”

_You are so overdramatic._

_You love it,_ he shot back.

She didn’t say anything, but he caught a sense of amused happiness from her.

“Give it a rest already,” he said. “I don’t want to fight you. You’re no match for me, and you know it. I’ve seen you at the gym. You can’t even come close to what I can do.” He knew it was mean to taunt Hux, but it was so damn _satisfying._

_Oh, my stars. Just make out already,_ Rey said.

Ben felt his face heat up. _Would you like to see that?_ he taunted, trying to deflect from the weird mix of feelings those words prompted.

_Well, now that you mention it…_

_No._ He didn’t want to kiss Hux, and he especially didn’t want to kiss Hux in front of Rey.

She laughed. Hux turned to glare at her, unaware of the silent conversation that Ben and Rey were having. “You!” he shouted. “You’re responsible for all of this, you Force-damned sand rat!”

“Me?” she said. “Are you serious? You _literally_ started a civil war within your organization--thanks for that, by the way--over a stupid party. Take responsibility for your own damn actions, Hugs.”

“Um, excuse me,” one of the stormtroopers interrupted. “Sorry, it’s just--can you give us an answer about the pay raise? We’re going to leave now if you can’t give it to us.”

Ben was impressed. It took a lot of balls to interrupt a heated spitting match between two strong Force users and a desperate general intent on killing them.

Hux just screamed a wordless, enraged screech as he fired on the crowd.

“That’s definitely going to make them join me,” Ben said as mild chaos broke out. He couldn’t help but feel triumphant over that, even though he hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

Most of the stormtroopers ran for cover, trying to push each other out of the way to exit the hangar. A few brave souls who apparently still sided with Hux despite everything started firing at Ben and Rey. Rey deflected the shots with a few quick saber movements, and she said “Run, go get him before he can do anything else stupid” as she pushed Ben away. He was a little bummed about not being able to fight right at Rey’s side, but needing to make sure they got Hux before he could escape again had to take priority.

As soon as he realized that Ben was chasing him, Hux ran, trying to push stormtroopers out of the way. Ben waved them aside, using the Force to push the ones who wouldn’t move on their own. Ben felt Hux’s fear as he neared, and he couldn’t help but savor it. It was the dark side in him, wanting to bring terror to his enemies. And Hux was his number one enemy.

It was almost comical the effort that Hux used in his attempt to get away from Ben. Ben barely had to run to catch up with him. Stormtroopers were rapidly disappearing as they made their way out of the danger zone, and the last few who were still loyal to Hux were starting to stand down as they realized what a lost cause it was. Ben knocked them out with the Force without breaking eye contact with Hux.

“I’m going to kill you,” he said quietly. Hux shot at him, even though he knew it was pointless to try to hit Ben with a laser blast. When the blaster ran out of ammo, Hux threw it at Ben with the worst aim Ben had ever seen. He couldn’t hold back his laughter as the blaster sailed way over his head without him having to use the Force to deflect it.

“You must be the galaxy’s worst shot,” he said as he cornered Hux. “There’s nowhere to go now, Hux,” he said softly. “Just give in and come quietly. We’ll stick you in a cell, and then we can settle this through our legal system.”

“We don’t have a legal system,” said Hux. “We’re the First Order. We _are_ the legal system.”

“We do now,” said Ben. “I’m it. Judge, jury, and executioner.” He had Hux cornered, standing just an arm’s width away.

He felt Rey running towards him as she said, “Ben, don’t do this, don’t kill--” As soon as she rounded the corner to where he and Hux were standing, Hux grabbed him and kissed him.

 

* * *

 

Rey had been joking before when she’d talked about Ben kissing Hux. It was one thing to joke about it, but it was something else to see it. The worst part about it was the mix of feelings she was getting from Ben--granted, mostly anger, but also some confusion, hurt, and, of all things, curiosity. 

It only lasted a second before Ben shoved Hux away hard enough for Hux’s head to snap back and hit the wall, but it was enough to do some damage to whatever Ben and Rey had. Hux must have been able to sense it, because he gave a quiet, satisfied laugh as he collapsed onto the floor. “Are you going to Force choke me?” he asked. He almost sounded hopeful about it, which was even weirder than anything else he had said or done.

“I’m thinking about it,” growled Ben. “But I think you’d enjoy it to much. What the kriff is wrong with you?”

Hux just laughed.

“I want to kill you,” Ben said, “but instead I’m going to arrest you, and I’m going to stick you in jail where you’ll rot for the rest of your days, and I’m also going to make you talk to my therapist.”

Rey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. For a moment, it looked like Ben was going to go full darkside and kill Hux in an angry rage. She couldn’t take the heartbreak of watching Ben go back to being full Kylo Ren. Not when he--they--had come so far.

There was another wave of his hand, and Hux passed out. Rey watched silently as Ben pulled a set of cuffs out from his pocket and placed them around the now-sleeping Hux. He turned and stood up and walked over to Rey.

“Hi,” he said, seeming unsure of how to greet her.

“Hi,” she said, equally unsure. “This is weird,” she added after a moment.

Ben let out a harsh laugh. “You’re telling me,” he said. He reached out and pulled her into an embrace. He kissed her on her forehead and she wrapped her arms around his waist, suddenly feeling like she was seconds from bursting into tears. “Hey,” he said, rubbing her back. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. We’ve got him.”

Rey nodded, but she didn’t say anything as she fought the tears back down. Later. She could deal with that later. They still had stormtroopers to worry about now.

“Don’t worry about that,” said Ben, catching her thoughts. “I’ve already commed some of my commanders. They’re sending reinforcements to the ship to help round up the last of the renegade stormtroopers and deal with sorting things out here.”

“Don’t you need to take care of it yourself?” she asked. “I didn’t think you trusted anyone in the First Order that much.”

“We caught Hux,” Ben said. “And from the sounds of it, the majority of the stormtroopers here wanted out of Hux’s leadership anyway. There really isn’t a whole lot that I have to attend to myself. And anyway, I mostly came here for you and to make sure you got out safely.”

Rey pulled back from his tight embrace far enough so that she could reach up and kiss him. “Thank you,” she said. “Even though I am fully capable of taking care of myself and I was already about to escape anyway.”

“I was so worried about you,” he said. She had known that even without him having to say it. She could still feel the sense of confusion, anger, and hurt coming from him, but it was quickly being overcome by a wave of relief that she was okay.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” she admitted.

“I think I have some idea,” he said, flashing her a quick grin. “Come on. Let’s get the kriff off of this ship.”

 

* * *

 

Ben was oddly nervous about bringing Rey back to his quarters. It had been such a non-issue for so long because of all of the political ramifications of their relationship that he’d never actually thought about what it would be like to bring her back to the place he lived in. Not to mention the fact that she had only ever been treated as a prisoner aboard any First Order ship. He’d offered to fly her back to Delrian to get her ship there, but he’d really only offered to make her feel like she had a choice about whether to go with him or not. As much as he wanted her by his side, he’d never force her to stay there. Not if she didn’t want to. 

They hadn’t talked much since leaving Hux’s stolen ship. Not that they needed words to communicate--not when they were actually together for once--but neither of them wanted to talk about what had happened until they were away from other people, someplace where they wouldn’t be interrupted. They were both a mess of feelings, which was a recipe for disaster for two people who were as bad as handling emotions as they were.

“Well, this is it,” he said awkwardly as he closed the door to his quarters. “This is where I live.” He removed his gloves, knowing that she preferred preferred the touch of his skin to the feeling of leather on her skin.

She walked over to look out of the large window along the back wall to the lounge area. “Is this what you see every day? The stars?”

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Most days,” he said, nuzzling her ear. “Some days I spend on planets, or on other starships.”

“Wow,” she said, leaning back into his touch. “That’s amazing.”

“I guess,” he said. “It’s so normal for me.”

“It’s one hell of a view, even if it does come from a ship run by an evil organization,” she said, trying to make a joke.

The words hurt more than she probably intended them to. “You don’t think that I’m evil, do you? Not after everything?”

“I don’t think you’re evil, Ben,” she said, turning to face him. “Have you done evil things? Yes. Dark? Maybe. Things change, people change, and you’re not completely dark anymore. I don’t know if you ever have been.”

“You’re not completely light, either,” he said, leaning in to kiss her. _It’s one of the things I love about you. You help balance me._

She kissed him back, slowly and gently. As much as he wanted to recreate the events that had transpired between them on the last night that they’d spent together, he knew that now was not the time to launch into some sort of crazy lust frenzy. He wanted to savor the moment, yes, but he also knew that they needed to reassure each other that things were going to be okay. Finding out that Hux had done everything out of some weird, crazy jealousy had thrown him pretty hard, and he knew that Rey was also reeling from the experience of being kidnapped (again).

“You must be tired,” he said.

She nodded. “I have no idea what time it is or how long I was out.”

“It’s getting late here,” he said, noting the way some of the lights had started to dim automatically, signaling the artificial night hours they kept on board. “Come on.” He gently pulled her to the bedroom. “Let’s get some rest.”

She squeezed his hand gently and followed him. He closed the door behind them and bent down to untie his boots. She did the same, and a thought occurred to him. “Um, I don’t want to make any assumptions…” he began, not quite sure how to phrase what he was trying to say. “We don’t have to--we can just rest if you want.”

She turned and bent down next to him. She put a hand on his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him. “Do you want to rest?” she asked.

“No,” he said. He stood up, pulling her up with him.

“Good,” she said. “Me either.” _I missed you,_ she added silently.

“I missed you too,” he said between kisses. The kisses started gently, as if they needed to reassure each other that they were okay, but it quickly became more passionate as they remembered how _right_ it felt when they were together. Sure, they had the whole ForceTime thing, but something about that always felt a little hollow, and after Poe had nearly walked in on Rey one time, they’d both decided that it was probably better to not let themselves get too carried away during those sessions, as agonizing as it was to have to hold back.

It wasn’t long until he felt like he was on fire, tension coiling low in his belly. He knew that she felt the same, like there were sparks flying from everywhere they were touching. And then they were tugging at each other’s clothing, trying to increase that intoxicating skin-to-skin contact, the energy growing between them. She moaned as his lips found her nipple and she pulled his hair, as if to emphasize how good it felt. And thanks to the Force bond feedback loop, he knew exactly when he hit the right spot.

At some point, they ended up on his bed, him leaning over her. He let out a moan as she pulled him closer, grinding against him. It was much more emotional (though no less passionate) than it had been the last time they had been together, and he couldn’t keep thoughts of _I missed you, I love you, I’m sorry_ from reaching her.

“Ben,” she whispered as she reached for his belt. He got the message and sat up to take his pants off. She did the same, and he couldn’t keep himself from reaching down to touch her when he saw how slick her thighs were. She moaned as he ran his fingers over her, and she dug her nails into his back as he slid one finger inside of her. He had thought about this more times than he could count in the past year, but seeing, hearing, and feeling the way she reacted as he slid another finger in was even better than he remembered.

“Ben,” she moaned again. She didn’t have to articulate what she wanted, and he figured that she probably wouldn’t have been able to do so with words at that point, anyway. He withdrew his hand and aligned their bodies in just the right way and paused, suddenly anxious. The mess of emotions they were both feeling was intense. He couldn’t tell where his feelings ended and Rey’s began.

But Rey wasn’t hesitating. She ran her hand down along his back to his hip and pulled him closer, as if to emphasize that she wanted him in her _right now_. That broke the split second of anxiety, and he slid inside of her with a moan.

Just like their kisses earlier, it started gentle, but grew more passionate as their bodies remembered how well they fit together. It wasn’t long until he was moaning her name and she was gasping in response. He’d heard a phrase once: “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” He’d never understood what it meant until now. This was all he wanted, every day for the rest of his life. He felt so balanced with her around. He’d never felt anything like it before, and it terrified him as much as it electrified him.

They were both close now, Rey nearly sobbing as she moved underneath him. And then he heard something that undid him:

_I love you, Ben._

He couldn’t keep himself from shouting her name as he came, and he felt her crash into him, her own orgasm coming a second after his. He didn’t know how long they laid there after, catching their breath, before he pulled out and lay down next to her so that he could pull her close to him.

“Did you mean that?” he breathed as he wrapped an arm around her back and she curled up next to him.

“I…” she said. Somehow, with all the time they’d spent sharing each other’s thoughts, she had never actually said those three words. He knew that she was guarded--being sold off for drinking money by her parents had done a number on her mental state--but he’d never pushed the issue, knowing full well what a traumatic childhood was like. “Yes.”

Neither one of them said anything. It took him a few minutes to figure out how to properly articulate the things he wanted to say.

“There’s a poem,” he finally said.

“A poem?” Rey said. “I didn’t know you liked poetry.”

“It’s not something I have a lot of time for these days,” he admitted. “And anyway, it’s personal. It’s something I don’t want to share with other people. Only you.”

She didn’t say anything, but he felt how much she loved that small confession.

“‘I love you without knowing how, when, or from where. I love you directly without problems or pride. I love you like this because I don’t know how to love any other way, except in this form in which there is no I or you, so close that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so close that when I fall asleep, your eyes close.’”

“‘I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul,’” she replied. “I know that poem, too.”

“I didn’t think they had poetry on Jakku.”

“They don’t on Jakku. They do on--” She stopped. His heart sank as he knew she couldn’t tell him where the Resistance had been hiding out. “On other planets,” she finished.

“I wish you could just tell me where you are,” he said, unable to keep some of the bitterness from his tone.

“You know why I can’t,” she replied sadly.

“I _am_ changing things for the better, you know,” he said.

“I heard,” she replied. “Better pay, better benefits. Vacation time?”

“Well that, but I’m also doing other things. We’re no longer stealing children to be raised as stormtroopers. We’ve given them a choice. They’re free to stay with us and train, or to leave.”

“Do they even have homes to go back to?” she whispered.

“Some of them,” he said. Fewer than he’d like, to be honest. “I’m very open about the fact that I don’t want to rule as Snoke did. I’m not him. I’m someone--something else.”

“I can’t imagine that all of this has been going over well within the First Order,” she said.

“There are more people than I’d originally thought who want us to be better,” he said. “Some are like Hux, especially at the higher levels. But Snoke ruled by fear. I don’t want to do that.”

“But you did, once,” she said.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But that was a very long time ago. That’s not who I am anymore.” _You’ve changed me,_ he thought. He didn’t know if she’d heard that. “I want people to have choices. But I can’t just dissolve the First Order. That will leave a power vacuum, and who knows who will fill it?”

“The Resis--”

“They don’t have the same kind of pull that I do and you know it. You need the support of so many systems that are under First Order control.” He sighed. “I may have hated the way that my parents never had enough time for me while they were trying to create the New Republic,” he said quietly, “but I did learn some things about how to create a new government. I won’t repeat their mistakes.”

Rey didn’t say anything.

“I want there to be peace in the galaxy so badly,” he whispered. “I want to create a place where kids won’t be stolen away and forced into slavery. I want to create a place where parents won’t--where parents won’t sell their daughters off for drinking money, or ignore their sons in favor of politics and smuggling runs.” He didn’t know he was crying until she reached up and kissed his tears off his cheeks.

“Who knew that the great Kylo Ren was such an idealist?” she teased. _I love that about you,_ she added silently as she kissed him again.

“I sure as hell didn’t,” he admitted. “Not until about a year ago.” _Not until I met you,_ is what he meant. He’d hated her at first for changing him. He was dark being tempted by the light, when it was meant to be the other way around. But now, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

They were drifting off now. A long day full of fighting and emotional fluctuations was catching up to both of them. Ben didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to be awake as much as possible while she was with him. And as heartbreaking as it was, he knew that she wouldn’t--couldn’t--stay with him.

“Do you think there’s a future for us?” he couldn’t keep himself from asking.

“I want there to be,” she whispered before she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

When Rey woke up, she didn’t know if she had dreamt Ben asking if she thought they had a future, or if he had actually said it. She did know, however, that she wanted them to have a future together. She had never given much thought to her future when she lived on Jakku--she had always been so focused on her past and so desperate for her parents to find her again--and since leaving Jakku, she had been running on ‘one day at a time’ mode. But now, seeing Ben again, she started to think about the future for the first time. She’d never been able to shake the vision she’d had that night long ago when they had touched hands in Ahch-To, but as time had moved on, she’d become less and less certain that it would come to pass. They hadn’t shared any more visions like that, which she was glad about. She didn’t think she could stand to see another vision about a future she wanted that she knew could never come to pass.

But now, maybe...maybe if what Ben said was right, the First Order was changing for the better, and there were more people who thought like him than originally suggested…

Maybe they did have a future, after all.

She’d never thought she would fall in love. She especially never thought she would fall in love with someone who had done so many horrible things in the past. But if there was one thing she had learned, it was that love, like the Force, had a mind of its own, and it connected people whether or not they wanted to be connected.

She felt him shift next to her. At some point during the night, they had shifted so that they were spooning, her back pressed against his chest with an arm draped over her waist. His fingers started tracing slow, lazy circles along her stomach, indicating that he was awake.

“Good morning,” he mumbled into her ear before kissing her shoulder. That was another thing that was surprising. The shoulder kisses. It was an oddly intimate thing. She’d never thought of her shoulders as being intimate, but there was something so affectionate about the way he liked to sleepily kiss her shoulders while they spooned.

“Good morning,” she said softly as she pressed herself further into him. The fingertips started to trail up her stomach so that his thumb brushed the underside of her breast before they trailed back down. The light contact sent butterflies through her stomach, and she could feel her body start to heat up as she felt him harden behind her. “That feels good,” she whispered.

“Yeah?” he asked as his hand trailed back up her body, this come coming up to cup her breast as he brushed his thumb over her nipple in little circles. She sighed at the contact, feeling her core heat up, before he ran his hands back down her body.

They didn’t have the mind-blowingly intense sex they’d had the first time they’d been together, nor was it the heartbreakingly emotional sex they’d had the night before. It was something in between, sleepy and sweet. After they finished, she lay on her side next to him and ran her finger tips up and down his chest.

“I wish we could wake up like this every morning,” he said.

“Me too.”

“Why can’t we, then?”

She sighed. “Ben,” she said. “I don’t think--”

“Right now, maybe not. But what about next week? Next month? Will the answer always be the same?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I hope not.”

They were silent for a few minutes, Rey’s hands still tracing patterns over Ben’s chest and stomach.

“What if we met somewhere?” he said suddenly, turning on his side to face Rey.

“Where would we meet?” she asked, her heart suddenly pounding. Maybe they couldn’t be together permanently, not right now, but maybe they could meet sometimes. Maybe that would be enough for now.

“Anywhere,” he said.

“I won’t wander onto First Order territory,” she agreed. “But neutral territory, yes.”

“How often?”

She thought about it. “Once a month,” she said. “I’m usually one of the people to run off on resupply trips. It won’t be out of the ordinary if I have to stop somewhere for a night.”

“I think things are settled enough here that I can sneak off for a night or two,” he said. “Especially now that we’ve got Hux chained up in a holding cell somewhere.”

Her heart started to beat faster. It could work, she realized. Because there was no way she could ever leave knowing that she might not be able to see him again, but there was also no way she could stay.

“I can’t let you leave knowing that I might not see you again, either,” he said, reaching over to brush her hair out of her face. “But I would never, ever keep you against your will. I promise.”

“Except for that one time,” she said, thinking back to what was most likely the day the bond had been formed.

“Except for that one time,” he agreed. “I think even then, I knew on some level that you were special.”

She couldn’t say the same about him. She’d hated him immediately, knowing that he stood for everything that was wrong with the galaxy. And then when he’d killed Han… She didn’t know if the hurt from that would ever fully go away for either of them.

“I know I’ve done some awful things,” he said, pulling his hand back as he realized where her thoughts were heading. “I know you can’t forgive me for some. I can’t forgive myself, either.”

She reached out and took his hand in hers. “You once said to me to let the past die. I don’t think we can ever truly kill the past, but we can learn from it, and we can use our mistakes to move forward.”

He kissed her. “I hope so.”

 

**Author's Note:**

>  ~~Idea: AU of my own story where everything is even fluffier and instead of fighting they have an epic Kylo/Rey/Hux threesome.~~ EDIT: I gave in to the reylux urge and wrote it. [You can read "Kidnapped. Jealous. Intrigued." here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13696914/chapters/31460799)
> 
> The poem quoted here is “Soneto XVII” (“Sonnet XVII” in English) by Pablo Neruda. You can read the original (Spanish) [here](http://www.poesi.as/pn59017.htm) or an English translation [here](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49236/one-hundred-love-sonnets-xvii). If you are into heartbreakingly beautiful love poetry, check out his poems. They are amazing.


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